


Haunted

by Thetalkingcherry



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gai never gave up on Kakashi, I wrote this and made myself sad but don't worry it has a happy ending, M/M, Some others also make an appearance, mentions of suicide and suicide thoughts, snippets of life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28780809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thetalkingcherry/pseuds/Thetalkingcherry
Summary: Sometimes Kakashi would tell him to go away, sometimes he would just ignore him. Gai stayed anyways. The house was haunted, his memories were too, he was cursed. "Cold-blood Killer Kakashi", that is who he was, then why did Gai kept coming back?
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy
Comments: 3
Kudos: 54





	Haunted

**Author's Note:**

> This work was inspired by Ahkaraii 's comic on Tumblr, it's called "Five" and you all should read it, it's a master piece. I wrote this and made myself sad but then made myself happy again.

It was noon when he arrived home. He and Aburame-sensei had been assigned to a simple D-rank mission that had taken up all day and despite Kakashi’s insistence on training afterwards, Aburame-sensei had sent him home, promising they would train the next day, he had even told him he would have to summon Pakkun, since they would focus on synchronized training.

That made Kakashi even more excited. He couldn’t wait until tomorrow.

His father had arrived a few days ago, yet Kakashi had not seen him much. He spent the day in his room and sometimes in the gardens of the house, he didn’t do much gardening though.

Kakashi was not dumb, he had heard what everyone would say (everyone except Aburame-sensei who only gave a blank stare as his mouth formed a disapproving line when he also heard those muffled comments). In Kakashi’s opinion they all should mind their own business.

Fugatu had explained the real reasons why his father was so hated, but Kakashi knew there was something else...sure, his father had been silent and distant since _that_ mission, but he had completely shut down after the ones after that. He wasn’t sure what had happened but he had heard people blaming him for saving his team, yes, as dumb as that sounded. So Sakumo had decided not to carry on the mission because his stupid team had been weak and were captured, they should be grateful he had even turned back!

But that was not what they thought.

One of the Sannin, Tsunade, had been at the house a couple days ago, well, she was there often, along with Jiraiya-sama (and even the other one, that gave Kakashi the creeps, and thankfully had only visited once or twice to carry the other two home). Most of the time she would be drinking and yelling, but this time she was silent, way too silent for her usual loud persona. _The abandoned mission had had terrible consequences._ That is what she had said. His father had just nodded and casted a silence jutsu making it imposible for Kakashi to hear anymore. People in the streets started calling him a traitor after that…they had called him…(When Kakashi had heard that word, he had turned around so fast and determined, that the only reason the kunai hadn’t ended up in that Jōnin’s throat had been Aburame-sensei’s hand intercepting his.)

At some point he had started wondering if perhaps they were right, the rules were there for a reason after all, Kakashi knew them by memory, the teachers had asked them to learn them at the academy on the first week. That thought made him wonder for a moment how were Gai and Obito doing, Kakashi had not seen them in three days, and that was a long time in Gai standards. He was not surprised that he hadn’t seen the annoying Uchiha, though, Kakashi had already graduated, he supposed the older boy was somewhere trying to throw a kunai and actually hitting the bullseye. 

Quietly, Kakashi took off his shoes and entered the house. Despite the weather not being particularly windy, Kakashi felt cold.

“I’m home” Kakashi said out loud, but no one answered. Everything was quiet, too quiet. His dad was in, he knew that.

He walked further into the house. The lights were off, all of them. The kitchen was empty, that meant his dad had not eaten again. He would make dinner then. Kakashi sighted, he just wanted things to go back to how they were, when he and his dad would train together and Sakumo would bring him to missions with him, even before he was a genin. Maybe after hearing he would start training with Pakkun his dad would cheer up. Maybe he would even summon Tetsu and they would train together! Tetsu definitively knew some tricks, she had been his mom's personal summon first, after all. 

Kakashi made his way towards the fridge but didn’t open it. There was something…odd in the air. Something did not feel right.

“Dad?” He called, but no one answered. He walked towards the living room, the place where the picture of Kakashi’s mom rested adorned with the black ribbons next to her samurai swords. The air felt heavy.

When he opened the door there was no mistaking the blood.

So much blood. The tatami was stained and it ran in lines, like lighting had struck the floor, but it hadn't left a burned mark, but shimmering red lines. Kakashi walked towards his dad’s form, curled on his right side, his face obscured by his silver hair falling over his eyes. His right hand still holding the Tanto that pierced through his abdomen. A copy of the one Kakashi had, a graduating present from his father. His legs were bended, he knew it meant he had been sitting on the back of them before…Kakashi knew the ways of the samurai. His mom had been one, she had been called a traitor when she and his dad had him. He often wondered how it was that she died, had she been ordered to…but his father was not a samurai he was a ninja, a ninja who…had…he couldn't say the word, could not think it, even as he saw it in front of him. 

Kakashi felt the blood staining his feet. It felt cold, and yet it burned. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe. So this was it. His father had given up. So, they had been right, he was weak, he was a traitor, he was…scum. He curled up his fists. Nothing had been important enough for him, not his mission, not the rules, not his clan, not his honor, not…Kakashi. Tears stained his mask as they rolled down his cheeks but he didn’t wipe them, no, it was not even worth it. He willed himself to stop crying. He wouldn’t cry for a deserter.

He sat down on one of the tatamis in the hallway as the clone he sent delivered the news to the medics. Soon enough they arrived. Jiraiya and two Jōnin were with them. He heard their shocked gasps but got up from the spot as soon as they started talking. He didn’t want to hear them. He didn’t want to know anything about him anymore. Kakashi sat down outside, then, by the door.

By the time they took his father’s corpse out, wrapped in white sheets, it was night already. The Sannin was the last one to come out of the house, he stood in front of Kakashi and stared down at him, his face wore a disappointed and stern look, he turned around, then, and left without a word.

Kakashi sat there for hours, when morning came he got up and went inside the house, he bathed, geared up and went to meet his sensei as he would any morning. 

News ran fast in the hidden village, it seemed. 

_“Can you believe he found him” “They say it was suicide” “What a dishonor” “That is just pathetic” "What a shameful way to die"_

Kakashi met Aburame-sensei in training ground three, but instead of training he was taken to the Hokage. His sensei had not uttered a word about it, and for that he was grateful. He was not as lucky when it came to everyone else.

He could see the pity in their eyes, hear the -not even discreet- comments as he walked past. But Kakashi kept walking, until he was facing the door to the Hokage’s office.

There, he was told his father committing suicide meant he couldn’t be buried the way other nin would, that there would be AMBU going to his house to check there were no secret documents stored there, and that everything belonging to Sakumo was now legally Kakashi’s.

Kakashi nodded and signed some papers with his name. 

Princess Tsunade was there too, she got closer to him, her mouth opened, like she wanted to say something, her eyes were watery. 

Kakashi just bowed down respectfully, and left. 

When he got home, he could tell the AMBU had already searched every corner of it, there were a few things slightly out of place. Kakashi simply got the cleaning tools from under the sink and cleaned the blood-stained wooden floor, rolling the stained tatami and storing it in the small basement under the house. He ended up cleaning the whole house after that. 

When he was done, he made his way to the bathroom, he took off his pouch, the one at his hips, and opened the basket next to the wooden tub to deposit his dirty clothes but he couldn't even take off his light sweater. Inside laid Sakumo's white shirt. The red of the triangles at the end of the left sleeve reminded him of the blood. He took the shirt in his hands and brought it to his face. Sakumo's scent washed over him as did the tears and the sudden need to scream. He reached the toilet in time, his hands still clutching the shirt as he exited the bathroom only to fall to his knees as the sight of the living room came into view. Kakashi finally cried, he clutched the fabric of the shirt and screamed, he punched the floor until the pain in his knuckles was enough to distract him from the pain in his heart. His tears stained the floor and so did the droplets of blood that now danced down his hands. 

The next morning, when he awoke, surrounded by fur and paws that tried to pet his hair, he didn't utter a word. He merely took the cleaning tools from under the sink and cleaned the floor again. 

Weeks passed and no one came by, Kakashi kept cleaning and training. 

No one dared mess with him, they wouldn't even talk to him. He could still hear the murmurs from the older Shinobi. Kakashi just closed his eyes and escaped, he would imagine himself far away, he would come up with different training techniques, different strategies for hypothetical battles in his head. He encountered Gai a couple times. Kakashi ignored him, Gai kept coming back. He kept asking him on stupid challenges. Kakashi refused every single one of them. Suddenly it seemed like the other Shinobi was following him around, always training, he would start conversations with Kakashi and spend hours talking, even when Kakashi wouldn't utter a word back. 

The next time he saw him, Gai was holding a cookbook. Kakashi took it.

He kept going on missions with Aburame-sensei, and suddenly it was not just D and C missions, but B missions as well. He was put in a physical defense training class with other kids from the academy, they were all older than him, he knew the course was a requirement to take the chunin exam. He met Rin and Obito there. Rin would always tell him how she thought Kakashi’s fighting was amazing. Kakashi did not care. Gai asked him if he could come by to his house after class, Kakashi didn’t reply. Gai followed him. They ended up having a kunai throwing challenge, and even though Kakashi won, Gai’s smile was as bright as the sun.

He started visiting Kakashi more often, but Kakashi never let him inside the house, they would always stay outside. Maybe Kakashi didn’t want the somber shadow that seemed to inhabit the house to get to Gai too.

Kakashi passed the class in two weeks and by the end of the month, he had passed the whole course and was now waiting to take the exam. Gai had also finished the course earlier, Kakashi wasn't surprised, he knew Gai trained his physical skills every day.   
  


He was passed around different teams, none would keep him for long, it didn’t matter just how successful he finished each mission, how skilled he proved to be, they always told him he was impossible to be around, that he took the rules too seriously. Kakashi didn’t care about their complains, after all, he knew the consequences of not following the rules, the stained tatami rolled in his basement was proof enough.   
He did not need teamwork, teamwork had taken his father away from him.   
  


Minato became his Sensei and he got to be in the same team as Obito and Rin. Rin was a very capable and skilled medic nin and Obito...well, he was Obito. Nevertheless, Kakashi knew Minato wouldn’t have picked him if he didn’t have anything to contribute to the team. 

When he became chunin, he visited his father’s grave. He bumped into Gai afterwards who had only just been relieved from the medical center after their fight, who without a word, grabbed Kakashi’s hand and took him to his home where Dai was already waiting for him with dinner. 

Even after defeating him on the chunin exam, Gai kept coming back. Sometimes Kakashi would tell him to go away, sometimes he would just ignore him. Gai stayed anyways. 

It became a nice routine. They would eat together, the looser would pay, although most of the time it was Gai who paid. When Kakashi was promoted to Jōnin no long after, Gai brought him food to his new apartment. He was no longer living at the Hatake household. He had covered everything with sheets and stored every photograph inside an old trunk. Including his mother’s samurai swords and her picture. He dragged the trunk to the basement where the blood-stained tatami still laid rolled next to the wall, covered in dust. Kakashi closed the door and didn’t look back. (It would be years later, when half the village was destroyed that he would visit the house again, it looked broken. Everything had stayed the same, although the dust and insects had claimed their share. Apparently, no one dared cross the threshold, they said the house was haunted. Kakashi supposed they were right).

Then Obito died, and then he murdered Rin and suddenly it was as if the heavy air that had clung around the house was back.

He often wondered if that was how his father had felt, if he would feel the guilt eating him alive while the nightmares forced him to see blood everywhere, the images replaying over and over in his head. The Sharingan gave the user, among other things, photographic memory. He could see her face, hear her words, smell the distinctive scent of flesh being burned by lighting...He wondered once, how it would feel to not see it anymore, to stop the pain, to…(Gai had grabbed his wrist with so much force that day he broke the bone. Kakashi snapped out of it as soon as he heard his name being yelled by the other shinobi, just in time to see the lighting diminishing as he got control of himself and forced his hand away from his own abdomen. He never lost control that way again. That was also the first time that when Gai hugged him, Kakashi held him back and for the first time he wondered, why did Gai cared so much after all) 

He became AMBU just as he became “Friend-killer Kakashi”.

He had always known of the close relationship Kushina-chan had with Obito, the memories of that day, when they left the village for the mission on the bridge haunted him. He was haunted by Kushina’s smile as he joked and told Obito to come back unscattered to her. He was haunted by Obito’s laughter and affirmative words, assuring Kushina that he would come back in no time. Every day he carried on his mission of protecting her, under Minato-sensei's orders, the scene repeated itself in his mind as if the Sharingan had memorized it. 

He knew she didn’t blame Kakashi, and yet, Kushina would never look him in the eye. Not even when Kakashi did not have the Hound mask on. Kakashi did not blame her.

After the attack of the fox, he went back to being Captain, just as he went back to being “Cold-Blood killer Kakashi”.

Nights were long, and days passed in a blur of blood and red paint, the only constant was that hideous green jumpsuit he had slowly become to associate with home. But he couldn’t, not yet. Not ever. He couldn’t let him close to him, he was cold-blood killer Kakashi, after all. 

“Do you think the dead’s wishes should be respected?” Itachi had asked him as they waited under the shade of a tree. 

“Yes” Kakashi had replied.

As soon as he was sent to the Uchiha clan household on an emergency call, he knew Death had heard him that day as well.

Soon enough everyone left, soon enough everyone died, soon enough he failed them. He didn't fail a single mission, he copied and killed and lead and planned but he couldn't keep those he wanted alive. More than once he woke up after a nightmare where it was Yamato instead of Rin ("My name is Tenzō, Kakashi sir!"), he never let him take off the cat mask when they were on a mission. Maybe if he could trick himself into thinking it was Cat and not Tenzō, then maybe "cold-blood killer Kakashi" and his curse would not get to him. 

And Gai...god, he couldn't loose Gai. But Gai wore no mask. 

Gai had begged him to leave AMBU before, he had heard word from the AMBU in charge of protecting the Hokage Gai had even asked him (no, more like demanded) to let Kakashi out, twice alone and once accompanied by Asuma and Kurenai.

When he was finally relieved by the Hokage, Kakashi wore for the first time (after that faithful mission where Gai would rename Kakashi’s Chidori and Rin would end up dead by his own hand) the green Jōnin vest. It had not fitted before, it still was a bit big, but Kakashi didn’t mind.

He was glad Tenzō, stayed in his place, as Captain. After everything they had gone through together, he trusted him and his ideals enough. The shadow of ROOT was still above them but they have found their way around it, they always did. 

One week later he was sent to S-rank missions again, besides the usual A-rank ones he was usually sent to. He was supposed to start teaching young gennin but so far no team had passed. He had gained a reputation, a new one to add to the long list of assumptions and nicknames he had been earning since he was five. Except this time it felt different, sure, the weigh of his sins still followed him around but now he knew he could count on one of Gai’s challenges (or his hands, or his kisses, anything that was Gai) to take his mind off it. (And he would try to repay the favor, he didn't know how so he just held him, and when it was too much he would be the one to challenge his Eternal Rival back). 

A couple of missions, a new team that came to stay, more missions, a war, saving the world and being appointed Hokage later, found Kakashi standing in the same spot he did when he was five and coming home from a D-rank mission, except this time he was almost 30 and he was not alone.

“Looks just the same” Gai said, as he wheeled indoors, Kakashi following him, his steps careful, as if he didn’t want to disturb the years of dust accumulated inside. There were weeds and plants growing everywhere, there was a bird’s nest on one of the bookshelves, the scrolls there had barely visible letters now. When the village had been almost destroyed, the house had suffered the impact as well, a small part of the roof in the main hall was broken, the now ruined wood laid full of yellow and grey mushrooms where the rain and sun had hit it all those years. Moss was growing too. Sakumo had always loved plants, he had always loved nature.

They got the old trunk from the basement, Kakashi didn’t remember it being that…small. It was not tiny, of course, after all, it kept his mother’s swords and every document and photograph that was part of his heritage inside, but back then, filling that trunk and moving it to the basement had felt like moving the whole house to the deepest part of the woods.

They left the house, without disturbing the natural wildfire that had settled inside the it. Before leaving, Kakashi had risked going to the living room. For the first time since he still lived there, he didn’t feel guilt, nor the somber shadow that used to crawl into his chest every time he so much as glanced at the place he had found his father at all those years ago. Instead, he felt at peace.

There on the floor, Hydrangea had started to bloom.

Kakashi wore one of his mother’s samurai swords at his wedding with Gai, along with a white right sleeve that ended in red triangles. When it came to honoring those that had passed, neither Samurai nor Ninja had anything to say against.

Gai wore his father’s scarf.

Tsunade officiated and Tenzō made sure to create a wedding chapel, big and detailed, images of Cats were sculpted at the door and Kakashi couldn’t help but laugh. Next to them, at the shrine, Pakkun and the other ninken watched him with pride. 

Apparently “a small celebration” was not something Gai knew about, for the 15 guests turned to 50 and by the reception, he was not sure how many there were.

At some point during the reception, he would catch Naruto and others trying to sneak close to him whenever Gai stood next to him or when he was going to have a sip of his drink (The Kami ceremony had been done with only the grooms and Tsunade, so it seemed that Naruto, and friends, were taking every chance they got to peek behind his mask). Kakashi felt happy, then. He felt truly happy. It was a strange sensation, and he welcomed it. 

“You never stopped coming back” He whispered against Gai’s neck, his body still trembling and Gai still inside him. The reception had long since finished and the light of the moon shone through the window of their room, hitting Kakashi’s back as he knelt on top of his husband.

Gai just smiled, looking at him with so much tenderness and love it made Kakashi melt, it made him feel loved. Gai had never left, had carried him through it all and Kakashi would do the same for him now. Always. 

He was at home, finally it was alright. Together, they had built a home. 

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a work of fiction. The characters do not belong to me.


End file.
